It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
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