It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
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