It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
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