It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.