It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.