It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
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