Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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