Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before.
Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"
Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!
Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand.
A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
Why did the blonde have square boobs? Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.
What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
How do you drown a blonde? Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!
Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.
Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Did you hear about the blonde corn maze? It only had 1 stalk.
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
Why did the Blonde go to the Apple Store? She wanted a Big Mac meal.
Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
Dustin and Jane (both blonds) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? They can't remember the number.
What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"
How do you confuse a blond?
Tell them to count the stairs on a escalator.
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)
What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
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