What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"
How do you kill a blonde? Give her a gun and say it's a hair drier.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Why did the blonde take a camera to bed? To record what she was going to dream that night.
Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
A blond was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"
The blond said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand.
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.
How do you drown a blonde? Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved.
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...
Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? They can't remember the number.
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.
Why did the Blonde go to the Apple Store? She wanted a Big Mac meal.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
How do you drown a submarine full of blonds?
You knock on the door.
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.
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