Why are black people so good at basketball?
Dedication and hard work.
What is green, red, yellow, purple and orange?
Colors.
You know you’re a true 90s kid when you look at your birth certificate and it says that you were born between 1990 and 1999.
Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water. Expecting that one to end a little differently, too? If you’re unfamiliar, this is the (rather dark) way that joke usually ends. Plus, check out some more brainy and hilarious science jokes.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
What did the doctor say to the other doctor? We’re both doctors!
What did one Frenchman say to the other?
I have no idea; I don’t speak French.
Yo momma’s so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
Who shaves at least 20 times a day? A barber.
What do you call a cross between a joke and a rhetorical question?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
Why can’t Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle?
Because he hasn't been trained as an artist.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.
Why is the fireman buried on the top of the hill?
Because he is dead.
What does anti-humour have in common with a half empty bottle of ketchup?
Nothing.
Due to the expansive nature of the universe, many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner. Move over, anti-jokes. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you might just be a genius!
You know what they say? Words.
A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The duck doesn’t say anything because it’s a duck.
Back in 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee. I’m telling you this now because there was no social media in the ‘80s.
How do you light a swimming pool on fire?
You don't.
Why did Dany stay home from the party? She wasn’t invited.
How do you get a clown off a swing?
Hit him with an axe.
What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence.
An Irishman, a Chinaman and an American all walk into a bar. This is an excellent example of integrated community.
A guy walks into a bar. He gets a drink and leaves.
A man walks into a bar. “Ouch.”
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.
They all get a drink, because bars in America are legally required to serve people of all religions.
What did one Japanese man say to the other? I’ve no idea, I don’t speak Japanese.
If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.
A guy walks into a bar.
Which is unfortunate because he has a drinking problem.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Why did Benjamin get sick after eating too much ice cream? He was lactose intolerant.
How do you confuse a blond?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
What group of people do cops target the most?
Criminals.
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says “I’ll take a glass of H2O.” The second says “I’ll take a glass of H2O too.”
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
Because she’s dead.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him, “Why the long face?” The horse says, “Evolution.”
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Parenting is like playing chess.
I don't know how to play chess.
If you were born in France. Raised in England moved to Canada and died in the USA what are you...?
Dead.
What’s the one thing in life you can always count on? A calculator.
What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
Why did the teacher tell Jamie she was wearing too much makeup? Because she was wearing too much makeup.
What’s black and white and red all over?
Red white black through tissue samples textiles for making clothes
What would Kurt Cobain be doing if he was still alive? Clawing at the inside of his casket.
What do you call someone who kills a black person?
Murderer.
A man walks into a library to get a book on suicide.
The librarian says “Do you have a library card?” The man says “no” and leaves.
Stolen. Stealing is bad and you should return it. Here are some of our favorite corny puns that are so bad they’re good.
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