If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.
What’s the best way to deal with a turkey?
Have it killed and then cran-bury it.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!
Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus.
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving
What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage.
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all!
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape.
What do you get when you crossbreed a turkey with a harp?
A bird who can pluck itself.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?
Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Groovy.
What do turkeys and women have in common?
A lot of guys are only interested in their breasts.
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?
Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?
“OK, spare me no insults!"
What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?
One baked with May-flour.
What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.
But they did get a tan. A puritan.
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?
The family dog’s nose.
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”
Stephen Colbert
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary? Pilgrammar.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
What key can’t open doors no matter how hard you try?
Turkey.