It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.