It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.