It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.