It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.