It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.