It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.