It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
