It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.