It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.