It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!