It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.