It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.