It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.