It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.