In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.