Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.