Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris' email address:
Gmail@chucknorris.com
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
