Knock knock.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.
A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.
Parenting is like playing chess.
I don't know how to play chess.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Hand of the buyer with a piece of cheese in the store
In France, They don’t say “I love you”
Because they don’t speak English there.
Why can’t Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle?
Because he hasn't been trained as an artist.
What’s the one thing in life you can always count on? A calculator.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.