Why did Benjamin get sick after eating too much ice cream? He was lactose intolerant.
If Arnold has $5 and you have $5, you both have $5.
Back in 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee. I’m telling you this now because there was no social media in the ‘80s.
Guess what I saw today. Everything I looked at.
Why is the fireman buried on the top of the hill?
Because he is dead.
What do you call a cop with a wooden leg?
Officer.
What leaves a bigger hole in your heart than breaking up with your girlfriend?
A bullet.
Yo momma’s so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
What do you call a French guy flying a plane? A pilot.