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Walks Jokes

Crow Puns
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
Garden Puns
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
Tableware Puns
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
A plate of sandwiches walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve food”.
Gnome Puns
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Tiger Puns
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
Ghost Puns
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
Crocodile Puns
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Funny Animal Quotes
“Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.”—Roger Caras
Deer Puns
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
The Drunkard and the Coffee Shop Owner
The Drunkard and the Coffee Shop Owner A drunken man walks into a coffee shop one day. "Do you have ice coffee?" "No sir. We don't." Says the owner. "Ok then." says the drunken man. Then he gets on his way. 20 minutes later he comes back in. "Do you have ice coffee?" he inquires again. "No sir. We don't. I told you before." Says the owner. "Oh. Sorry about that." says the drunken man as he waddles off. 20 minutes later he comes again. "Do you have ice coffee?" "Sir, I told you before. We do not have any ice coffee." "Wow ok then. No need to tell me twice!" exclaims the drunkard and exits. This time, the owner decides to put some coffee in a bucket of ice and wait. Sure enough, 20 minutes later the drunkard enters again. "Do you have ice coffee?" he inquires. "Why yes sir, we do!" says the owner with a smile. "Ugh, could you heat a cup for me then?"
Funny Health Quotes
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
Gorilla Puns
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Elf Puns
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Halloween Pick Up Lines
Of course I like long walks by the moonlight.
Sun Pick Up Lines
She acts like summer and walks like rain.
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