The doctor told me he found something alarming in my colonoscopy.
Turns out it was a clock.
I have inner beauty.
And I have the video from my colonoscopy to prove it.
A proctologist is about to write a something on his patient's notes but when he goes to take his pen out of his pocket he realizes it's actually his thermometer that's there.
He says, "Darn, some a**hole has my pen."
I had a colonoscopy yesterday and I think the doctor must have got carried away.
I said to him, "Can you back that up a little, it's irritating my tonsils."
"Straight ahead for a bit then there's a sharp left, so take it slowly." I said.
"The screen is for MY benefit, Mr. Anderson," said the doctor, "and this isn't my first colonoscopy."
I just got my colonoscopy results:
The doctor gave me two thumbs up!
That new vet really screwed up my pig's colonoscopy
He's pretty ham-fisted
"Your Colonoscopy went well, I understand." Said Sherlock to Watson.
"No s**t, Sherlock."
Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news – they found your head.
Someone I know gave a really deep speech to convince me to go for a colonoscopy
What else can I say?
Something touched me deep inside.
What's the difference between a colonoscopy and an endoscopy?
The taste.
Had a colonoscopy the other day,
Worst dentist appointment I've ever had.
Did you hear about the golfer who started a colonoscopy clinic?
He does 18 holes a day.
I had a colonoscopy recently and believe it or not getting the camera up there doesn't hurt as much as you might think.
It's the crew that's the killer.
What should the real name for a colonoscopy be?
A colonoscopoo.
I forgot to pay my colonoscopy bill.
Now I’m in arrears.
Yesterday I paid a stranger to knock me unconscious,
shove a foreign object up my butt and film the whole thing!
Or as my doctor insists on calling it... a colonoscopy
What do you call an Irish proctologist?
Colin O'Scopy.
My father had a colonoscopy.
Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
I only lost 2 pounds while taking laxatives for a colonoscopy.
I guess I'm not as full of crap as I thought.
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