When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Water you doing?
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
Tropic like it's hot.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.