Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Water you doing?
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
The ocean made me salty.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.