Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.