Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.