When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
Don't get tide down.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.