Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!