What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Water you doing?
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!