I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
