Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.