That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
Salty but sweet.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
Feeling fintastic.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!