What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!