One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
Beach you to it.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!