Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.