What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.