What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane