Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Tropic like it's hot.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
Tis the sea-sun.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
Feeling fintastic.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.