What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
I can sea clearly now.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?