Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!