What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
If there's a will, there's a wave.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.