What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!