It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
Beach, please.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.