Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.