How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!