Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
Feeling fintastic.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.