Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..