What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.