What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.